Grant is in soccer. I missed his first few games because I am a terrible mother who makes commitments to people who aren't family members and then honors them at the cost of her own babies.
I saw Grant's game today. He scored the first goal. He's kind of a ball hog, and an exhaustive forward, but his focus kind of evaporates when he has to play defense. Is this regular 10 year old boy stuff, or ADD? Doesn't actually matter that much. When he's out for a break, he paces and cheers his team on. Today, a dear friend of ours was playing on the opposing team. It made me super happy to see the boys play hard against each other, but still shout encouragement when not directly engaged.
Abbie had a great time playing with the rest of the friend's family. We love them. I hid under an umbrella, because I am skilled at burning through 2 kinds of high SPF sunscreen, and there was no cover. Game was fun.
Other stuff...less fun.
Husband sits on the couch in the living room most days and checks email or plays games on his IPAD anytime he isn't eating. I don't approve of teaching the kids that anytime you don't have something else to do, you should sit and play computer games and ignore those around you. He says I'm the same because my chair is in front of MY computer, and I play music. But I don't see it that way, because I'm playing the music for them. It's a fair argument, though.
I just hate that I don't come home Tuesday and Thursday, and on Monday and Friday I don't get home until after 6. (Wednesday is music lesson day, when I get off work at 2, drive 45 minutes to get the kids, pick them up, and drive 30 minutes back over the same roads, have lessons, and then drive back home.) And he knows that saying that I'm never here for the kids will hurt.
It did.
Parent teacher conferences are coming at the end of next month. I'm going to them. Even though I have to take off work with no pay, and Husband could just "work" from home.
If we moved....I would get home earlier. Would that help me not feel like this? They would be in better schools. Would I worry less? Would it help?
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
There are no tears like the ones we weep for our children.
Bad day.
We got progress reports Friday. Well, when I say that, I mean that the kids did. I was out of town this weekend. I got them ready for picture day, Husband took them to school, and I didn't see them again until Sunday night.
I do not feel great about that.
So. Progress reports. Grant got a C in reading. If you've met him, you know that something is up. He reads ALL THE TIME. Not wanting to freak him out, I mentioned it to him when I saw it on Sunday, but gently.
Me: I saw your Progress report.
G: Yeah....my reading.
Me: So, what happened? I know you've been reading. Was there something else? Did you have trouble on a test, or was there a paper you needed?
This is how I found out that Grant was supposed to have a reading log, which we were to be signing. *sigh*
We talked about it in reasonable tones, and then at the end I found out he had already had nearly the same conversation with my husband on Friday. Well, at least we are consistent.
Inspired by this transaction, Husband has been working on the afternoon routine and getting the homework organized and accounted for. That's what was going on when I came home. Then, Grant started to get...The Voice. You know the one I mean. The one that indicates the rise of bile and discontent. The one that promises a fit before bed.
Promise fulfilled.
And then. As if sending my son to bed early wasn't enough, I walked by and he proceeded to hit himself in the face.
In the split second I had to decide something, I decided that this was an attention seeking behavior. So I marched him to bed and left without the Mother-Son talk and without anything else. Just bed. No. Attention.
Then I proceeded to A. Cry in my room, and B. Have a heated discussion with Husband about what the right thing to do is.
Do you know?
We got progress reports Friday. Well, when I say that, I mean that the kids did. I was out of town this weekend. I got them ready for picture day, Husband took them to school, and I didn't see them again until Sunday night.
I do not feel great about that.
So. Progress reports. Grant got a C in reading. If you've met him, you know that something is up. He reads ALL THE TIME. Not wanting to freak him out, I mentioned it to him when I saw it on Sunday, but gently.
Me: I saw your Progress report.
G: Yeah....my reading.
Me: So, what happened? I know you've been reading. Was there something else? Did you have trouble on a test, or was there a paper you needed?
This is how I found out that Grant was supposed to have a reading log, which we were to be signing. *sigh*
We talked about it in reasonable tones, and then at the end I found out he had already had nearly the same conversation with my husband on Friday. Well, at least we are consistent.
Inspired by this transaction, Husband has been working on the afternoon routine and getting the homework organized and accounted for. That's what was going on when I came home. Then, Grant started to get...The Voice. You know the one I mean. The one that indicates the rise of bile and discontent. The one that promises a fit before bed.
Promise fulfilled.
And then. As if sending my son to bed early wasn't enough, I walked by and he proceeded to hit himself in the face.
In the split second I had to decide something, I decided that this was an attention seeking behavior. So I marched him to bed and left without the Mother-Son talk and without anything else. Just bed. No. Attention.
Then I proceeded to A. Cry in my room, and B. Have a heated discussion with Husband about what the right thing to do is.
Do you know?
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Spare Time, What's That?
A new school year and a new beginning.
I don't really know what to say. I'm working full time, and don't get home until 6:00 p.m. I feel very separated from the kids and their schooling, and it's upsetting. I try, though, not to feel upset, since everything seems to be fine.
Grant's teacher is what I was hoping she would be, and he has had no problems in her class. We did have one really awful morning last week at home, but that is the exception and not the rule, at least this month.
Today isn't going so well, either.
I've said it before, but it's easy to be pleasant when everything is going your way. What shows true strength of character is behaving well - even pleasantly - when things are NOT going your way. I have said this to my son and he knows it. I think that even though he is bright, this is not something a child can truly process. We are back to the consequences of our actions thing, only in a somewhat metaphorical adaptation.
No, I don't know why I'm talking like that. I can't just say something today.
The Mark System. Doing that.
At least I am. I'm not sure Husband has been enforcing it, which is to say, he's teaching my children to go ahead and misbehave, since there is a reasonable chance that all consequences will be forgotten.
But I'm still busy with my other obligations and haven't been home. How much guilt can one woman brew up? Let's find out.
Abbie is not making progress in personal grooming or personal responsibility, either. In fact, she and Grant have both been taking advantage of Husband's complete illiteracy in the field of music by telling him they've practiced their music lessons, when really they've just gone into their rooms and made a few sounds. Disgraceful.
So. From a few steps back, we are having a great year and doing extremely well, but when you take a closer look, we have much to work on, and much to improve.
*sigh*
I don't really know what to say. I'm working full time, and don't get home until 6:00 p.m. I feel very separated from the kids and their schooling, and it's upsetting. I try, though, not to feel upset, since everything seems to be fine.
Grant's teacher is what I was hoping she would be, and he has had no problems in her class. We did have one really awful morning last week at home, but that is the exception and not the rule, at least this month.
Today isn't going so well, either.
I've said it before, but it's easy to be pleasant when everything is going your way. What shows true strength of character is behaving well - even pleasantly - when things are NOT going your way. I have said this to my son and he knows it. I think that even though he is bright, this is not something a child can truly process. We are back to the consequences of our actions thing, only in a somewhat metaphorical adaptation.
No, I don't know why I'm talking like that. I can't just say something today.
The Mark System. Doing that.
At least I am. I'm not sure Husband has been enforcing it, which is to say, he's teaching my children to go ahead and misbehave, since there is a reasonable chance that all consequences will be forgotten.
But I'm still busy with my other obligations and haven't been home. How much guilt can one woman brew up? Let's find out.
Abbie is not making progress in personal grooming or personal responsibility, either. In fact, she and Grant have both been taking advantage of Husband's complete illiteracy in the field of music by telling him they've practiced their music lessons, when really they've just gone into their rooms and made a few sounds. Disgraceful.
So. From a few steps back, we are having a great year and doing extremely well, but when you take a closer look, we have much to work on, and much to improve.
*sigh*
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