That previous post was actually written in early November. I never finished it. That's kind of what this season has been like.
Grant continues to have troubles. My husband is going through a rough time looking for a new job, at the same time that Grant is beginning to be petulant when asked to do anything he doesn't want to. My not being here until mid to late evening is so hard, as now I don't know who is the instigating party. What I do know is that I have come home to those two fighting almost every day this week and last, and Abbie getting away with not doing as she has been asked, due to the distraction.
We all participated in a 5K in mid November, which my dad joined us for. He and Grant both finished first in their age group, and got medals. I ran and walked with Abbie and kept her going. We made horrible time, of course, but it was fun. I made her run all the downhills, of which there were many - to go with the many uphills.
Now it is December. Tomorrow we are having our Deck The Halls day, when we decorate and listen to/sing carols and write letters to Santa and such like. On Monday, new realtors are coming, whom we might hire to sell our house. I both crave and fear the moment when we change schools. I want to leave the current school district, but I know that it will be a horrible experience for Grant to leave the classmates who are used to him, and who forgive so much from him. Abbie still gravitates to the trashiest kids in school. I want the trashiest kids to be of a better quality.
I'm trying to get through this season as best I can, but I won't deny that my worries going into this month are more serious than those of September and October. I have even considered getting the book out again. I have considered taking Grant to be professionally evaluated. I have begun to doubt myself and everyone involved again. To cry again. To sit up nights again.
Did I Mention it's 3 am?
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Parent-teacher conferences were, on the whole, a relief. Grant has had a great year, and his amazing teacher is super fond of him. She promised to tell me if he had any rough days.
I heard from her last week.
Grant woke up in a terrible mood on Monday. No idea what might have contributed, but it was undeniable. He was emotional and frustrated and short tempered and a complete pain. I tried to get him to calm down, but it didn't seem to work. I got a call and two emails from the teacher. (Love that woman.)
The big problem: Grant hitting himself in the face/head out of frustration. Think Rainman.
Well, you might recall that I had seen this once before. After I got home, I talked with Grant, but avoided asking what happened. Instead we just talked about being upset at school.
Me: Grant, you know that hitting someone when you are upset is not okay, right?
G: yeah.
Me: Well, hitting yourself is just as not okay.
G: *looks upset and on the verge of frustrated tears*
Me: I notice that when you are upset, your body is upset, too. You rub your feet together, and clench your fists and grimace... It's all very physical. Let's both try to think if things that you can physically do, even in line, that won't cause problems for you or anyone else.
Grant seemed pleased at that conversation. He gave me a big hug. I wonder if part of it was that someone noticed, and he didn't have to go through the difficulty of trying to explain.
I called his teacher about it. She offered Grant a stress ball to keep in his desk and carry on the days that feel to Grant like Monday did. I was not prepared for Grant's reaction. He was so relieved and happy that he almost burst into tears. Obviously, a big moment for me as well. Such a small thing. Such a big help. At least he feels prepared now.
As for Abbie, her conference was different from Grant's, and different from her usual, as well. Abbie's teacher praised her academics (she's on the principal's honor roll for straight A's. Grant had two A-.) She is actually going to save a paragraph Abbie wrote to use in all her future classes. Teachers used to do that with my work, as well. I was just surprised she asked my permission. She thinks Abbie's listening skills are impressive, too. But her behavior with the other kids is not okay. First of all, she picks her friends unwisely. Then, she is uncooperative and controling, especially during group work.
I heard from her last week.
Grant woke up in a terrible mood on Monday. No idea what might have contributed, but it was undeniable. He was emotional and frustrated and short tempered and a complete pain. I tried to get him to calm down, but it didn't seem to work. I got a call and two emails from the teacher. (Love that woman.)
The big problem: Grant hitting himself in the face/head out of frustration. Think Rainman.
Well, you might recall that I had seen this once before. After I got home, I talked with Grant, but avoided asking what happened. Instead we just talked about being upset at school.
Me: Grant, you know that hitting someone when you are upset is not okay, right?
G: yeah.
Me: Well, hitting yourself is just as not okay.
G: *looks upset and on the verge of frustrated tears*
Me: I notice that when you are upset, your body is upset, too. You rub your feet together, and clench your fists and grimace... It's all very physical. Let's both try to think if things that you can physically do, even in line, that won't cause problems for you or anyone else.
Grant seemed pleased at that conversation. He gave me a big hug. I wonder if part of it was that someone noticed, and he didn't have to go through the difficulty of trying to explain.
I called his teacher about it. She offered Grant a stress ball to keep in his desk and carry on the days that feel to Grant like Monday did. I was not prepared for Grant's reaction. He was so relieved and happy that he almost burst into tears. Obviously, a big moment for me as well. Such a small thing. Such a big help. At least he feels prepared now.
As for Abbie, her conference was different from Grant's, and different from her usual, as well. Abbie's teacher praised her academics (she's on the principal's honor roll for straight A's. Grant had two A-.) She is actually going to save a paragraph Abbie wrote to use in all her future classes. Teachers used to do that with my work, as well. I was just surprised she asked my permission. She thinks Abbie's listening skills are impressive, too. But her behavior with the other kids is not okay. First of all, she picks her friends unwisely. Then, she is uncooperative and controling, especially during group work.
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