Worrying Again

That previous post was actually written in early November.  I never finished it.  That's kind of what this season has been like.

Grant continues to have troubles.  My husband is going through a rough time looking for a new job, at the same time that Grant is beginning to be petulant when asked to do anything he doesn't want to. My not being here until mid to late evening is so hard, as now I don't know who is the instigating party.  What I do know is that I have come home to those two fighting almost every day this week and last, and Abbie getting away with not doing as she has been asked, due to the distraction.

We all participated in a 5K in mid November, which my dad joined us for.  He and Grant both finished first in their age group, and got medals.  I  ran and walked with Abbie and kept her going.  We made horrible time, of course, but it was fun.  I made her run all the downhills, of which there were many - to go with the many uphills.

Now it is December.  Tomorrow we are having our Deck The Halls day, when we decorate and listen to/sing carols and write letters to Santa and such like.  On Monday, new realtors are coming, whom we might hire to sell our house.  I both crave and fear the moment when we change schools. I want to leave the current school district, but I know that it will be a horrible experience for Grant to leave the classmates who are used to him, and who forgive so much from him. Abbie still gravitates to the trashiest kids in school.  I want the trashiest kids to be of a better quality.

I'm trying to get through this season as best I can, but I won't deny that my worries going into this month are more serious than those of September and October. I have even considered getting the book out again.  I have considered taking Grant to be professionally evaluated. I have begun to doubt myself and everyone involved again.  To cry again. To sit up nights again.

Did I Mention it's 3 am?