I recommend reading Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings by Christine Fonseca if you have gifted students in your life at all, whether you are teaching them, parenting them, or hanging out with them on the weekends. Really, I do.
The book is divided into three parts. The first part identifies what you are dealing with. This part might be the most fun, and it is definitely the most effort-free, but it is not the most informative. Those of us who know gifted kids have probably already seen what they are, and what troubles they have. On the other hand, if someone had handed me this book when I was first told that Grant was having trouble at school, many tears would have been saved. If you are a teacher, please DO hand books to parents, even if you are unsure the diagnosis is accurate. Knowledge is power, and the main fear in these cases is powerlessness.
The second part of the book describes the re-vamp in your household that is necessary to begin progressing toward your goal of emotional self-control for your child (or student, etc.). There are worksheets, checklists, and tips provided. Some of these I am going to use. Some not. But I like that they are there, just in case.
The third part of the book gives sample conversations with kids, and shows a better way to get through the conversation. The idea is to encourage the child to tell his version of the complete story, (without lying out of panic) so that you know what you are and are not dealing with. Then you hint and suggest the child into saying what the right outcome should be/should have been.
They weren't kidding when they said that the adult has to approach the situation without bringing emotion along. It's super hard for me. If you've ever had an in-person conversation with me, you will recall that I am ALWAYS using some sort of emotion. Usually it's a happy one. I'm not really the queen of Matter Of Fact. This is going to be very difficult. In fact, I'm going to personalize this strategy, and say that I shouldn't bring a negative emotion, and we will see how that works out.
One thing that I still am concerned about: Introversion vs. Extroversion. All sources I've come across, including this one, describe introversion and extroversion in an "or" relationship. Sadly, I am neither/both. I am an introverted extrovert. Or an extroverted introvert. I can re-energize in both basic ways. And now I am directed to two different directions from which Grant could be approached. It is emphasized how important choosing the correct one is. So...which is he? I tried to ask him, but that didn't work, because he can't decide. He likes to be with people. I notice that he does a lot of solitary playing....but is that because he prefers solitude or because those particular games appeal to him? GAH! So I think I am going to ask the school counselor what she thinks...
Abbie is an extrovert. She follows me around when she is bored. If that's not an indication, then I present exhibit A: She is always surrounded by a million kids when she's at school. Noisy ones.
Husband and I spoke in depth about the book for the first time last night. He typed up a plan. Apparently, he has to see stuff. (I notice that this does not include reading the book, which I ended up reading sections of aloud to him. And going to bed extra late. Meh. Exhausted.) Now, we will see what he does about the plan. [insert raised eyebrow here]
Just in case you were curious, the book does not, in fact, address the situation of Second Brilliant Child Syndrome, which I made up a few weeks ago. I will have to either keep looking, or figure that one out myself. Maybe if we can get these kids actively learning more often, this will clear up on its own.
Please send someone to buy my house. I am armed against the world, and am ready to see it.
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