Finding My Feet

Know what I love?  Books.  The kind made of paper.

I am currently in search of this one:  Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students:  Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings, by Christine Fonseca. 

We were at V-Stock today, and I actually got the nerve up to ask for it.  My plan was to buy a cheap, used copy, read and understand it, then donate it to the gifted program in my kids' school district.  They seem to need it.  It wasn't at V-Stock, though, so I'm back to my original plan of appealing to my dismally inferior local library.

I did come home with Passage to India and a P.D. James book that my grandmother wants me to read.  I love bookstores! 

Finally allowed bits and pieces of my troubles to leak out amongst a group of friends this morning.  (Translation:  I burst into tears and explanations were required.)  It was not as bad as I had thought.  I might even have some true "army" support.

My husband was angry with Grant when all of this started coming up.  Then, when I started doing research (and thought to check about gifted kids) and found a probable source of the problem, he wasn't worried anymore.  A.  I had found an answer, and B. being smart is fine.  Nothing wrong with that.

Uh...tell that to the school.

It was another week and a half before I brought up the subject again.  I don't like feeling like the only one trying to fix things!  His kid, too, you know!  His response was that I had it under control and he didn't need to do anything. (You know, like support me, or listen to my concerns and ideas, etc.)  Let's just say I set him straight on that one.  So, now he doesn't think like that, but the result isn't any different.  He was late coming home every night this week except Friday. 

Still can't talk to Mom.  She knows both kids are in the gifted program, but doesn't know that the counselor is involved, or the severity of the school problems, or that I've been miserable with worry.  That's the thing.  I don't want to share that.  She had her own gifted kids, and I know she has a few regrets about how it all ended up.  I don't want her to have to think about that all over again, and how could she not be reminded of it, under the circumstances?

But - even the lack of family behind me is not as bad as it was a few days ago.  I am deciding to not allow this to get the better of us.  Plus, it always helps to have a plan.

In other news, we have put our house for sale.  My plan is to be the counselor myself, to help my son cope with the world as it is, to be totally victorious, and then to take my gifted children and their test scores and LEAVE.

Possibly not all aspects of that plan can be realized.  And it does seem a little vengeful for me...

But, like I said, it helps to have a plan.