Uncertainty Again

Not gonna cry....


I worked Saturday, of course.  Then, we went to a surprise birthday party (my first ever) for one of my husband's co-workers.  It was a family event, and both kids did a wonderful job of playing nicely with the other kids - younger and older.  Here's the thing:  Abbie plays with all kids of whatever kind.  Grant plays well with  all girls, younger boys, and sometimes boys his own age, but not really with older male children.  I'll try not to speculate, since I am delicate this morning.

Sunday morning we cleaned, and then the kids came with me to meet new friends.  We met at the mall and had bubble tea and play time at the....what are those things really called?  We call it The Play Place.  Everyone did extremely well, and I went to bed thinking, "This is so much better than I had feared.  I don't have to be totally alone.  Book on the way.  Advice from new friends who really know about this stuff, and that makes total sense.  This unhappiness is just a temporary chapter in our life, and we are going to handle this, no problem."

I had nightmares all night.  I hear all the time about people dreaming of showing up to work or school naked.  Never had that one.  Or falling.  Never had that one, either.  My recurring stress dream is about school, though.  Often, I don't remember my class schedule, or I can't remember my locker combination and am, therefore, late.  Late to a recovering shy person is a BIG deal.  Why?  Because when you are late and walk in, EVERYONE TURNS TO LOOK AT YOU.  It's heart-stopping.

Last night was sort of a mutation of that dream, with evidence of my new frustrations mixed in.  Listen to this:  I go to class, but my teacher has been replaced with a new teacher.  She looks at the roster, and decides that I was never in that class to begin with.  I go to my locker to get my things, and of course I can't open it.  This time instead of representing lateness, it represents the inability to escape.  Then, because dreams are like that, it is open, and I am ashamed I couldn't do it by myself.  There is all my stuff, and I have to get it and go, but it won't fit in my bag, so I am carrying a lot of it in my arms.  I'm very conspicuous, and people are watching me in the hallways.  I go to the office to find out where I am supposed to be, and I can't get anyone's attention.  While I am waiting, I am thinking about all the work I've done for nothing.

End Dream.

This morning, we found random food in Abbie's lunch box.  Because of a concern for disease prevention, my kids' school has a policy that you only eat your own food.  Sharing is not allowed at lunch.  So, I had to email the school this morning to say that Abbie had been sharing food.

They are both getting sneaky, which I'm not sure how to handle.  And I can tell that one or both of them is running pretty much wild at school.  Please, please buy our house, someone.

Today I have an appointment with a realty person, but I was only told yesterday.  The house is in no fit state to be seen. 

Guess my time would be better spent attacking the messes.  Wishing you a decent Monday.  Next to research:  anxiety.  His, not mine.